Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury

Pot calling the kettle blackLike the Passat Wagon I mentioned earlier, here’s one more to file under “non-SUV owners who aren’t smart enough to make sure their car is more fuel efficient than an SUV before putting a smug anti-SUV bumper sticker on their fuel guzzler”. Volvo wagons get between 14 and 18 mpg generally. Hummer H3′s get 15.

That said, I’m not going to be getting a Hummer anytime soon. Nor will I be wearing Hummer cologne.

Hummer cologne

Bouquet

Janet, I love the skillful way / you beat the other girls (with whips!) / to the bride's bouquet

Among my siblings, the coordination and athletic ability are somewhat unequally distributed. Either you’re a professional ballet dancer, or you’re …well, the type to manage to pitch your wedding bouquet only about three feet behind you, like Ab did.

When Abby’s bouquet made its abrupt and quick landing, most of the single girls sort of didn’t know what to do, and just sort of stood rooted in their spots. The whole lot of them stood frozen for a few seconds, and then cousin Margaret got this “oh, for pete’s sake, what’s wrong with you all?” look on her face, and just walked up and took it. One of the many reasons why Margaret is great.